Observe This!

Saturday night, as soon as I got off work, I had to go to my girlfriend's birthday party. It was toga themed. I had tons of homework to do the next day, and probably shouldn't have gone out at all. Still, I knew I had to attend so I took this unique opportunity to do my observations list. Besides being bombarded with questions of, "What the hell are you writing" I think it went pretty well.

1.) Punk Rockers stay in the kitchen
2.) They probably stay there because that's where the beer is
3.) Punk music means a lot of people singing along with the stereo
4.) Guys pump the keg for girls
5.) Guys are reluctant to pump the keg for other guys
6.) The best togas have leafy accessories.
7.) No one pays attention to their card game
8.) Brother's friends don't mingle well.
9.) Dancing mother's attract a crowd.
10.) "I'm wasted" becomes a substitute for conversation.
11.) The less attractive the girl, the skimpier the clothing
12.) When one smoker lights up, at least one more does too.
13.) The later it gets the more people smoke.
14.) Every time someone new enters the conversation switches
15.) Cameras cause guys to pose horribly.
16.) Cameras cause girls to look cute.
17.) People at toga parties make a lot of references to the movie, "300"
18.) Whenever my friend Ernie meets a new guy he tells a story about a fight he has been in.
19.) Whenever my friend Ernie meets a new girl he talks about his kids.
20.) The drunker the guys get the more touchy-feely they get with each other.
21.) The dogs look sad.
22.) Drunks cannot decide on a CD for more than two songs.
23.) People get a lot quieter as soon as they go outside.
24.) People seem to enjoy Steak-n'-Shake a lot more when drunk.
25.) Steak-n'-Shake seems to enjoy people a lot less when they are drunk.
26.) Theme parties are the best parties.